Humour poems

by Nancy Snipper

Photo

For a smile, an American tourist has a picture taken of herself  

standing beside a donkey 

so she can take back home a pair of asses.

Prairie Pounce  

Saskatchewan whisks you off

to plains of grain 

and fields of wheat 

that smiles reap.

The grocery store 

is a meeting core 

for peopled carts 

where friendship starts.

First, you gasp

then grin 

and finger your dimple,

"How quaint,how sweet 

demuringly simple!" 

While back in Toronto
the king of queen grain
makes it rain on the plain
and the granaries grumble.

His wife is so humble

all the time on the tour

though she showed little grace

when she ran from manure.

(she sips English tea
with a superior pinkie).

The Break-up 

When Bill was with me, everything broke: 

My Greek vase broke, my Cretan vase broke.

He even broke my two china urns.

My turquoise saucer broke

along with the top of the spout on the teapot. 

The chain to turn the lamp on and the one around my neck broke. 

My ivory pendant broke. 

The paint on the walls was peeling and all my light bulbs died.

When Bill left me, nothing broke …. not even my heart. 

Tom Foolery 

Never have sex with a handsome man;

he’ll leave you for another;

but if he doesn't, be sure of this …

you are not his lover!